Omeleto




A mysterious man puts a single white glove on a fence. When I see why, I actually laugh out loud.

As Terry Lothian places a glove on a railing, he explains that his department is responsible for the strange occurrences around town. But with recent cutbacks, he’s not happy with the extra work he has to do.

Terry then throws worn-out books on bus shelter roofs. Since the locations need to be varied, he complains that he should have a logistics team.

He doesn’t know who is behind the cutbacks. He just knows he has to deal with unaccustomed workload, as he misspells “wancker.”

Terry is a “clanked man,” someone trained in the art of “clanking.” He makes general background noises, such as metallic bangs, incoherent shouts and mechanical groans.

As he opens a small case containing a “clanking paddle,” specifically designed to offer a range of noise-making possibilities, he explains the difficulty of his craft — timings need to be irregular.

Shouts are very difficult to master. He starts off with basic outbursts before slowly combining obscenities.

Then, he moves onto the art of staining a mattress and placing ordinary objects in creepy placements.

His department is extremely secretive about its work and he gets his instructions once a week. When the cameraman asks if he can come next time, Terry gets upset and storms off.

A few hours later, the cameraman hears the sound of the clanking and finds Terry.

Suddenly, an angry neighbor walks up to Terry and asks him to stop. Terry says he has another two hours.

The neighbor is confused and asks what he’s doing. Terry can’t talk about it. The neighbor threatens to wrap the crowbar around head, but later apologizes and walks off.

Terry is frustrated for not being appreciated. The world is an empty place and people like him add texture to the fabric of reality.

Then, he starts screaming into the night.

LOL at 6:27…


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